Surely, you must be joking...

 

Monday, September 23, 2013

 

Let me start off with a disclaimer: if this email comes off as angry or ungrateful, I apologize in advance. It is not intended that way. I merely wish to let you know of some things that happened this week that, while they might not seem that important in your eyes, impacted me a great deal.

 

So as you may or may not know, transfer calls were Saturday the 14th; and they are usually made to this area around 10:30-11:00AM. However, on Saturday, we waited and waited; but the calls never came. So around 1:00PM we texted the Zone Leaders and asked them if we were still getting transfer calls that day. A few minutes later they called us and said that we were both staying... and that was it. So Elder Eisele and I were really excited and began to solidify our goals and plans for the upcoming transfer with the notion that we would be working in Bear Valley and in Golden Hills.

 

However, on Tuesday (the day of transfer meeting) Elder Flores (our district leader) texted me and told me that there were now Sisters in Bear Valley and that my area was split. I regret to say that I did not believe him.  We like to joke around a bit and I thought he was just trying to "punk" me. Also the fact that the Zone Leaders mentioned nothing when they called on Saturday, only solidified my belief that it wasn't true, and that I still covered both wards. But when he kept insisting and I kept denying it, we finally agreed to call the assistants and get to the bottom of if. Elder Scott plainly said that yes, Sisters were in Bear Valley and that the Zone Leaders should have told me when they called on Saturday.

 

I was devastated to say the least. Not so much that I had lost Bear Valley (because it would have been no different than if I was transferred out of the area) but that I was not told in advance that I was losing a whole ward of people that I love. Again I regret to say that my devastation quickly turned to anger towards the Zone Leaders, and their apparent lack of candor in this matter. I was of the mind-set that they were incompetent, ineffective leaders and my faith was very shaken regarding the Elder-leadership of this mission. Because if something as important as an area split "slipped their minds," how could I put my trust in them? Here I was with a plan for two wards and twice the teaching pool and all of a sudden everything is cut into half. I felt like I had the rug pulled out from under me and then knocked upside the head. I was so disoriented. So for a few days after that I was very belligerent, confused and spiteful: the spirit was gone from the work. I was unable to get myself out of the hole of wrath that I had dug myself into, and my drive to do anything worthwhile was utterly spent.

 

Then I read in Isaiah 40:28-31 which says, "Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding. He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."

 

I was very bluntly told by God that it doesn't matter what happens to you, and that young men (Elders maybe?) will fail. But if I always put my trust in the Lord and serve him only, then I will have the strength to do all things. This really snapped me out of my stupor of thought and reminded me to keep things in the eternal perspective. So I picked myself up, dusted off my shirt, and got back to work. It'll take a little time to fully heal, but just as was talked about in the East Bakersfield Stake conference, through the Atonement all wounds (physical or spiritual) can be healed, and when we serve others we can be as the hymn says, "I had myself a wound concealed, But from that hour forgot the smart, And peace bound up my broken heart."

 

Then for icing on the cake, Golden Hills had their primary program yesterday and let me just say, that only in the temple have I felt a stronger spirit. The Holy Ghost testified to me that God loves me, and that He wants me to serve him to the end so that in the last day, when I'm able to kneel at his feet He can say, "well done my good and faithful servant." I love this work, and I know that I have had a rough couple of weeks.. But I know there is much work to be done and that every able-bodied young man is needed to further the work of salvation. So in closing, I just want to say that I'm okay now.  I've moved on from these trials, and I have my eye fixed upon the glory of God.

 

I hope that I have not discouraged anyone out there, but I just wanted you all to know what's been going on and that all's well now. The Gospel is still true and this is the restored Church that Christ is the head of. The Atonement is real and forgiveness is an amazing attribute that we should all strive to develop.

 

I love you all and pray that you have a most excellent week.

Elder Cox

 

 

Elder Cox getting a much needed haircut!

 

 

Sorry this is later than normal.  I've also attached a sweet email I received from a woman that Elder Cox has been teaching.  Her husband is a member, but she isn't.  Hope that can change with my son's help.  :)

Guess I need to work on my revelatory skills

Monday, September 16, 2013

First and foremost, I am staying in Tehachapi (and my powers of revelation are less than reliable), at least until the end of October. And I still have Elder Eisele as well. And believe it or not, I am glad that I'm staying because I have a vision for the work here that I haven't quite been able to realize, and I was hoping that I would have more time to see it come to fruition. President and Sister Wilson's words on Sunday during Stake Conference should definitely help the wards get more enthusiastic about giving referrals, and we should be seeing an increase in numbers.  I have faith. I am also grateful that I still have Elder Eisele, because I am learning so much from him. He requires a bit of effort to be patient with, but nevertheless I am glad he is with me so I can learn these things from him, and also to discover what a complex young man he is. That is not so say that we always are "clicking," our minds work in very different ways. But it's good for both of us to be with someone so different, and I know that this transfer is going to be even better than the last. 

 

The biggest lesson that I was able to learn this week was that I need to be more forgiving of myself, because thoughts of inadequacy and anger are not from God, but from Satan. On Friday the 13th (wouldn't you know it), I woke up very angry with myself and all the faults that I had. I don't know why these thoughts crept into my mind, but all I know is that they started festering and made me more than a little cranky. That is, until I read 2 Nephi 4:27-30 which says: 

 

"And why should I yield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul? Why am I angry because of mine enemy? Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul. Do not anger again because of mine enemies. Do not slacken my strength because of mine afflictions. Rejoice, O my heart, and cry unto the Lord, and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the rock of my salvation." 

 

I am so thankful for the Lord's atonement and for the ability that we have to bring all our troubles and shortcomings to him so that he is able to make us strong and mighty. Just like President Young (?) talked about forgiving those who have offended us, when often we need to first forgive ourselves and allow the atonement of Jesus Christ to work within our hearts and heal our cankered souls. That is always something that I need to remind myself. 

 

Stake President Russell also gave a really good talk on eternal marriages, and how in every other temple ordinance, it is between you and God. But temple sealings are the only covenant that we make with another mortal and God. Many times we think that we are only covenanting with our spouse, when really it is a three-way contract. I have never made that connection before; and although marriage is a long way off for me, the principle is still the same - my companion and I have to work with God in missionary work and it never works if only one of the companions is working, you have to both be on the same page with God to further the work of salvation.

 

Love you all and hope that you all have a good week and look forward to another awesome 6 weeks in the land of four seasons.

Elder Cox

Elder Cox's mission district:  (from L to R)  Elders Angles, Flores, Eisele (Ethan's companion), Kasper, Page, Duckworth, Fernandez, and Cox

 

 

**********************************************************************************

September 14, 2013

Hi Erin!

 

It's L writing to thank you first of all for a wonderful son. He is truly a special young man that B and I are so grateful to have in our lives. He was the voice of calm and reassurance when I called him from the hospital after B came out of surgery. I was hysterical with grief and panic because B was so angry and in pain. The person I called was Elder Cox, he was the voice I needed to hear to tell me that we would both be okay. He said he would contact the rest of the Elders and they would be praying for us.

 

Elder Cox and Elder Eisele were waiting for us when we got home. They have been here almost every day since making sure that we are okay and helping with B's garden because he can't be on uneven ground.

 

The second thank you is for the meat loaf recipe which is fabulous. I fixed it for the Elders and they both liked it, Elder Eisele actually had seconds and that kid is a skinny rail!

 

Thank you again for your amazing Son and the recipe. I hope that we will be able to meet when his mission is over. 

 

Warmly,
L

Nobody is perfect.

Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.

 

Monday, September 9, 2013

 

Everybody,

 

I apologize to you all for the brevity of this email. The week mostly consisted of meetings, travel, mission drama, and whatnot. So I won't bore you with the details. Let's just say that all is worked out and the Church is still true, regardless of mistakes that people make.

 

And now for something completely different: 

 

In ancient times, King David was very blessed of God and had everything that he wanted. but it wasn't enough, he killed a man and stole his wife because she was very fair to look on. Not understanding the evil that he had done, the Lord sent a prophet named Nathan to David. Nathan then proceeded to tell David a parable: "There were two men in one city; the one rich, and the other poor. The rich man had exceeding many flocks and herds: But the poor man had nothing, save one little ewe lamb, which he had bought and nourished up: and it grew up together with him... and was unto him as a daughter. And there came a traveller unto the rich man, and he spared to take of his own flock and of his own herd, to dress for the wayfaring man that was come unto him; but took the poor man’s lamb, and dressed it for the man that was come to him." At this King David was outraged and said, "As the Lord liveth, the man that hath done this thing shall surely die." Then Nathan gave David the bad news: "Thou art the man." So even without realizing it, David was being taught by a prophet of God, even if he didn't like the lesson that he learned. So too we need to follow the prophet, but not blindly. As countless General Authorities have said, pray to know of the truth of what they say.  

 

I thought I would share this lesson that was taught on Sunday in Gospel Essentials. Also, transfer calls are this Saturday, so I will let you all know if I'm here for another month and a half or if I'm on the road again. I'm getting the feeling I'm moving, but who knows but the Lord?

Love you all and take care this week!

Elder Cox

The time of preparation is over

Monday, September 2, 2013

     This past week I was really focused on the Zone Conference and pondering on the words that were said. And by far the most important thing that stood out to me was President Wilson's words from the brethren: "The time of preparation is over." It still sends shiver down my spine thinking about it. We are now at the last harvest spoken of in Jacob 5: "And the Lord of the vineyard said unto them: Go to, and labor in the vineyard, with your might. For behold, this is the last time that I shall nourish my vineyard; for the end is nigh at hand, and the season speedily cometh; and if ye labor with your might with me ye shall have joy in the fruit which I shall lay up unto myself against the time which will soon come. And it came to pass that the servants did go and labor with their mights; and the Lord of the vineyard labored also with them; and they did obey the commandments of the Lord of the vineyard in all things."
     I'm trying to be optimistic about it; but nevertheless, I'm still concerned for those who won't be ready. I have a feeling that the Second Coming won't be for a while, but the fact that now is the time to work and now is when the Lord is turning His children's hearts has me so excited! What an amazing time to live in. It reminds me a a favorite book series that I read back home, in which the young hero asked "why me? And why now?" To which another character said, "I would hate to live in a boring century when nothing is going on. This is the time to be alive, when history is being made and we are a central part of it." And that is so true for me, I am so grateful to be a part of this marvelous work to see the Lord's work first hand.
     I have also changed my goal that I had set a while back to read the Book of Mormon once a month. In the course of doing so, I realized that I was getting nothing out of it and that speed-reading words from God is probably not the best practice of a missionary. So I have reverted to my previous mode of study, and just taking extra care to ponder the words throughout my day and making sure that they are sticking in my heart. Or as Alma describes it, "Now, we will compare the word unto a seed. Now, if ye give place, that a seed may be planted in your heart, behold, if it be a true seed, or a good seed...it will begin to swell within your breasts...And behold, it will become a tree, springing up in you unto everlasting life. And then may God grant unto you that your burdens may be light, through the joy of his Son." (Alma 32 and 33)

Love you all and hope that you have a great week!

Elder Cox

From Erin's personal letter:  Here's a funny picture for this week. Story: we were at a member's house, and they have big dogs. My companion thought it would be a good idea to run around (in the dark) and have fun with said dogs. Needless to say, he ran over some fresh "dog dirt" and it splattered all over his slack leg. So we had him take off his slacks so they could be washed at the member's house and had him put on some of my jeans. The effect was very amusing. Enjoy the latest contestant on "The Biggest Loser".... Elder Eisele!

"Let us reason even as a man reasoneth one with another face to face" - D&C 50:11

Monday, August 26, 2013

    Unfortunately, this letter is going to be short this week. People just did not seem to be in the mood to talk to us. However, there is something that I had reemphasized to me this week, and that is the importance of communication between companions.
     Elder Eisele and I settling in together well, and he is getting more comfortable in the mission field every day. Lately though, I have noticed that he seemed to not understand basic (in my mind they were basic at least) facts about life, and frequently I have to define some "big words" that I use without thinking but words he appeared to have trouble comprehending. I first I thought that it was an act, that he was doing it just to annoy me. And it was working.  I was finding it difficult to "keep my cool" whenever he would act ignorant and pretend not to know something. We had a talk about it and come to find out it wasn't an act - he actually doesn't know a lot of these words and is naive about a great deal more. I am so grateful that we had this talk, because now that I know that these problems are who he is, and they are real struggles he faces, I am so much more forgiving and tremendously more patient than I would be if it was an act. And as I reflected on that this week, I thought about Judas Iscariot, and how he was offended by something Christ had done and allowed Satan into his heart. How very different those last days would have been if Jesus and Judas had just had a "companionship inventory" and resolved their problems. Then a man's soul might not have been lost to the wiles of the devil.
     We also had the chance to give a member and his nonmember wife a blessing before he went into surgery on Thursday. I know she felt the spirit as the blessings were given, and I hope that during this ordeal she felt the peace that the gospel can bring and we can make some progress with her. And for those of you who are wondering, the surgery went well. It was scheculed to go for 4 hours, but ended up lasting 7 hours. The reason being was that when they opened his back up, there was much more damage than they had originally thought, so much more in fact that the doctors were flabbergasted how he was even able to walk. But everything went well and though he is in a tremendous amount of pain, he is on the mend and should be home soon.
    That's it for this week.  We have a zone conference on Thursday, so I should have some "mind grenades" to throw at you all next week.

  

Love you all and keep safe -

Elder Cox

Four Island Lake in Bear Valley

"Be still and know that I am God" - D&C 101:16

 

Monday, August 19, 2013

 

     I hope that you all had a good week.  Our's was a little slow as far as teaching went, but it was a good week for learning things, at least for me. One of the biggest things was that impressed upon me was the acceptance of other faiths. Allow me to explain: before now I had been struggling with other Christian faiths and whether I should be supportive or distrustful of their views. I know as missionaries that we are to build up everyone around us regardless of their faith, and that we are to add upon the knowledge and truth that they already have and not tear them down. But it wasn't really until this week that I realized just what that meant. I likened it to the parable of the talents; but instead of money, the servants were given truth. The servant that was given the smallest amount of truth chose to hide it and to close himself off from the accumulating of more. The other servants, however, chose to increase the truth that they had been given; and they were blessed for increasing the knowledge that they had. So it is with us - as members of the restored church, we have been given so much truth and are encouraged to seek it out where ever it may be found. We also encourage those around us that have been given a little truth to increase their knowledge and testimony of Christ and His plan for us. It helps me in teaching people to then see their sincerity and devotion to Jesus Christ and God, help them expand that, and to always encourage them to come closer to their Father in heaven. 

     I also learned that many people have lives and literally don't have time for the missionaries to talk to them. On Thursday, every single person we had planned to see wasn't home, so we ran around for no reason. I learned a very important lesson in trying to call people to see if they are even home at the time we are hoping to see them, instead of running around and getting nowhere fast (hence today's title).
     We also were able to take part in a parade on Saturday. The wards had put together a float and some flyers about being prepared in case of disaster. They also had the idea to staple pass-along cards to the flyers and hand those out as well. They asked the missionaries to hand them out during the parade, and I'm sorry to say that I just couldn't bring myself to do it. The Gospel is so dear to my heart that when I share it, I want it to be with sincerity, not in some mass produced flyer that I'm throwing at people as I'm running past them. The flyers were still handed out (almost 400 of them), and we had a great time.  I just felt sick to my stomach when I tried to hand them out. That was an interesting day.

     We also have an investigator that is ready for baptism, we just need to coordinate schedules now. I'll keep you all posted!

     And let's try these pictures:

 

Some elk, one of which has a balloon stuck on it's antlers.

A sunset over Tehachapi.

Tehachapi.

Landscape of Tehachapi.

Elder Eisele (Ethan's companion) and Elder Flores (in the background).

 

 Love you all and hope you have an excellent week!

Elder Cox

It's a boy!

Monday, August 12, 2013

     Well, my first week of being a trainer and senior companion is over, and I'm exhausted. There is a different kind of stress associated with being senior companion. Then add the stress of training where you have to watch every word you say and every step you take to set a good example for your "boy" (when you train for the first time, they are considered your "son").

     Speaking of - when I got the call to be a trainer, I said I could handle anything except an 18 year old or a Utahan. Guess what! Elder Eisele is from Lindon, Utah and his 18th birthday was in July!!!!!! I should have kept my mouth shut.

     But it has been good. Elder Eisele is just what I needed for two reasons. The first is that I really didn't have a testimony of the age change. I do know that President Monson is the prophet leading the church and that he was inspired to lower the age change. But when I came out, I was seeing so many problems with having younger Elders come out that I was starting to question whether it was such a good idea or not. This week with Elder Eisele has changed that: he is more mature than I was expecting and more ready to share the gospel than I was at his age. Yes, he still has his little quirks; but the vision I had in my head of the 18 year old missionaries was that of "bubble boys" that were going to have a nervous breakdown when they realized that they couldn't go to their mom for help on every little thing. I admit it was a very cynical view of the younger elders, and I will be forever grateful to Elder Eisele for changing that view and giving me the opportunity to repent of my cynicism. The second reason that I am glad for my new companion is a renewed energy to the work. Elder Broby was just hitting his year mark, or "mid-life crisis," so there were days that were hard to go out and proselyte. There is so much more energy now, very infectious energy; and I've already seen the blessings from this refocusing of our purpose.

     That's not to say this week was all sunshine and roses. We had to drop an investigator that we have been working with for a long time. She was going to be baptized, then through some words from her fellowshipper, that was cancelled.  Now she has gotten her hands on false doctrine, believing the church is run by "male chauvinist pigs" who force women into subservient roles and that baptism is just a humiliating public display. It was really sad to see her change so much, but we had been losing her for a while and nothing we did was able to stop it. So we let her use her agency, and just like Lehi taught in the Book of Mormon: "Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil." It was just really painful for me to see that change; and for a few days after that incident, I kept thinking, "was there something more that I could have done?" And the answer I came up with was "yes".  However, my purpose is to invite not to force others to come unto Christ.  And as difficult as it was, I know that there are many other souls that are in need of my attention; and I cannot be distracted by this one rejection.      And the work goes on.  The weather is amazing; but I've been told that the next transfers, September 16th, are right around the hottest days of the year. So as that time draws closer, either pray for me to stay in the mountains, or that there will be an early frost.

 

I love you all and hope you have a fantastic week!

Elder Cox