Surely, you must be joking...

 

Monday, September 23, 2013

 

Let me start off with a disclaimer: if this email comes off as angry or ungrateful, I apologize in advance. It is not intended that way. I merely wish to let you know of some things that happened this week that, while they might not seem that important in your eyes, impacted me a great deal.

 

So as you may or may not know, transfer calls were Saturday the 14th; and they are usually made to this area around 10:30-11:00AM. However, on Saturday, we waited and waited; but the calls never came. So around 1:00PM we texted the Zone Leaders and asked them if we were still getting transfer calls that day. A few minutes later they called us and said that we were both staying... and that was it. So Elder Eisele and I were really excited and began to solidify our goals and plans for the upcoming transfer with the notion that we would be working in Bear Valley and in Golden Hills.

 

However, on Tuesday (the day of transfer meeting) Elder Flores (our district leader) texted me and told me that there were now Sisters in Bear Valley and that my area was split. I regret to say that I did not believe him.  We like to joke around a bit and I thought he was just trying to "punk" me. Also the fact that the Zone Leaders mentioned nothing when they called on Saturday, only solidified my belief that it wasn't true, and that I still covered both wards. But when he kept insisting and I kept denying it, we finally agreed to call the assistants and get to the bottom of if. Elder Scott plainly said that yes, Sisters were in Bear Valley and that the Zone Leaders should have told me when they called on Saturday.

 

I was devastated to say the least. Not so much that I had lost Bear Valley (because it would have been no different than if I was transferred out of the area) but that I was not told in advance that I was losing a whole ward of people that I love. Again I regret to say that my devastation quickly turned to anger towards the Zone Leaders, and their apparent lack of candor in this matter. I was of the mind-set that they were incompetent, ineffective leaders and my faith was very shaken regarding the Elder-leadership of this mission. Because if something as important as an area split "slipped their minds," how could I put my trust in them? Here I was with a plan for two wards and twice the teaching pool and all of a sudden everything is cut into half. I felt like I had the rug pulled out from under me and then knocked upside the head. I was so disoriented. So for a few days after that I was very belligerent, confused and spiteful: the spirit was gone from the work. I was unable to get myself out of the hole of wrath that I had dug myself into, and my drive to do anything worthwhile was utterly spent.

 

Then I read in Isaiah 40:28-31 which says, "Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding. He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."

 

I was very bluntly told by God that it doesn't matter what happens to you, and that young men (Elders maybe?) will fail. But if I always put my trust in the Lord and serve him only, then I will have the strength to do all things. This really snapped me out of my stupor of thought and reminded me to keep things in the eternal perspective. So I picked myself up, dusted off my shirt, and got back to work. It'll take a little time to fully heal, but just as was talked about in the East Bakersfield Stake conference, through the Atonement all wounds (physical or spiritual) can be healed, and when we serve others we can be as the hymn says, "I had myself a wound concealed, But from that hour forgot the smart, And peace bound up my broken heart."

 

Then for icing on the cake, Golden Hills had their primary program yesterday and let me just say, that only in the temple have I felt a stronger spirit. The Holy Ghost testified to me that God loves me, and that He wants me to serve him to the end so that in the last day, when I'm able to kneel at his feet He can say, "well done my good and faithful servant." I love this work, and I know that I have had a rough couple of weeks.. But I know there is much work to be done and that every able-bodied young man is needed to further the work of salvation. So in closing, I just want to say that I'm okay now.  I've moved on from these trials, and I have my eye fixed upon the glory of God.

 

I hope that I have not discouraged anyone out there, but I just wanted you all to know what's been going on and that all's well now. The Gospel is still true and this is the restored Church that Christ is the head of. The Atonement is real and forgiveness is an amazing attribute that we should all strive to develop.

 

I love you all and pray that you have a most excellent week.

Elder Cox

 

 

Elder Cox getting a much needed haircut!

 

 

Sorry this is later than normal.  I've also attached a sweet email I received from a woman that Elder Cox has been teaching.  Her husband is a member, but she isn't.  Hope that can change with my son's help.  :)

Guess I need to work on my revelatory skills

Monday, September 16, 2013

First and foremost, I am staying in Tehachapi (and my powers of revelation are less than reliable), at least until the end of October. And I still have Elder Eisele as well. And believe it or not, I am glad that I'm staying because I have a vision for the work here that I haven't quite been able to realize, and I was hoping that I would have more time to see it come to fruition. President and Sister Wilson's words on Sunday during Stake Conference should definitely help the wards get more enthusiastic about giving referrals, and we should be seeing an increase in numbers.  I have faith. I am also grateful that I still have Elder Eisele, because I am learning so much from him. He requires a bit of effort to be patient with, but nevertheless I am glad he is with me so I can learn these things from him, and also to discover what a complex young man he is. That is not so say that we always are "clicking," our minds work in very different ways. But it's good for both of us to be with someone so different, and I know that this transfer is going to be even better than the last. 

 

The biggest lesson that I was able to learn this week was that I need to be more forgiving of myself, because thoughts of inadequacy and anger are not from God, but from Satan. On Friday the 13th (wouldn't you know it), I woke up very angry with myself and all the faults that I had. I don't know why these thoughts crept into my mind, but all I know is that they started festering and made me more than a little cranky. That is, until I read 2 Nephi 4:27-30 which says: 

 

"And why should I yield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul? Why am I angry because of mine enemy? Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul. Do not anger again because of mine enemies. Do not slacken my strength because of mine afflictions. Rejoice, O my heart, and cry unto the Lord, and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the rock of my salvation." 

 

I am so thankful for the Lord's atonement and for the ability that we have to bring all our troubles and shortcomings to him so that he is able to make us strong and mighty. Just like President Young (?) talked about forgiving those who have offended us, when often we need to first forgive ourselves and allow the atonement of Jesus Christ to work within our hearts and heal our cankered souls. That is always something that I need to remind myself. 

 

Stake President Russell also gave a really good talk on eternal marriages, and how in every other temple ordinance, it is between you and God. But temple sealings are the only covenant that we make with another mortal and God. Many times we think that we are only covenanting with our spouse, when really it is a three-way contract. I have never made that connection before; and although marriage is a long way off for me, the principle is still the same - my companion and I have to work with God in missionary work and it never works if only one of the companions is working, you have to both be on the same page with God to further the work of salvation.

 

Love you all and hope that you all have a good week and look forward to another awesome 6 weeks in the land of four seasons.

Elder Cox

Elder Cox's mission district:  (from L to R)  Elders Angles, Flores, Eisele (Ethan's companion), Kasper, Page, Duckworth, Fernandez, and Cox

 

 

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September 14, 2013

Hi Erin!

 

It's L writing to thank you first of all for a wonderful son. He is truly a special young man that B and I are so grateful to have in our lives. He was the voice of calm and reassurance when I called him from the hospital after B came out of surgery. I was hysterical with grief and panic because B was so angry and in pain. The person I called was Elder Cox, he was the voice I needed to hear to tell me that we would both be okay. He said he would contact the rest of the Elders and they would be praying for us.

 

Elder Cox and Elder Eisele were waiting for us when we got home. They have been here almost every day since making sure that we are okay and helping with B's garden because he can't be on uneven ground.

 

The second thank you is for the meat loaf recipe which is fabulous. I fixed it for the Elders and they both liked it, Elder Eisele actually had seconds and that kid is a skinny rail!

 

Thank you again for your amazing Son and the recipe. I hope that we will be able to meet when his mission is over. 

 

Warmly,
L

Nobody is perfect.

Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.

 

Monday, September 9, 2013

 

Everybody,

 

I apologize to you all for the brevity of this email. The week mostly consisted of meetings, travel, mission drama, and whatnot. So I won't bore you with the details. Let's just say that all is worked out and the Church is still true, regardless of mistakes that people make.

 

And now for something completely different: 

 

In ancient times, King David was very blessed of God and had everything that he wanted. but it wasn't enough, he killed a man and stole his wife because she was very fair to look on. Not understanding the evil that he had done, the Lord sent a prophet named Nathan to David. Nathan then proceeded to tell David a parable: "There were two men in one city; the one rich, and the other poor. The rich man had exceeding many flocks and herds: But the poor man had nothing, save one little ewe lamb, which he had bought and nourished up: and it grew up together with him... and was unto him as a daughter. And there came a traveller unto the rich man, and he spared to take of his own flock and of his own herd, to dress for the wayfaring man that was come unto him; but took the poor man’s lamb, and dressed it for the man that was come to him." At this King David was outraged and said, "As the Lord liveth, the man that hath done this thing shall surely die." Then Nathan gave David the bad news: "Thou art the man." So even without realizing it, David was being taught by a prophet of God, even if he didn't like the lesson that he learned. So too we need to follow the prophet, but not blindly. As countless General Authorities have said, pray to know of the truth of what they say.  

 

I thought I would share this lesson that was taught on Sunday in Gospel Essentials. Also, transfer calls are this Saturday, so I will let you all know if I'm here for another month and a half or if I'm on the road again. I'm getting the feeling I'm moving, but who knows but the Lord?

Love you all and take care this week!

Elder Cox

The time of preparation is over

Monday, September 2, 2013

     This past week I was really focused on the Zone Conference and pondering on the words that were said. And by far the most important thing that stood out to me was President Wilson's words from the brethren: "The time of preparation is over." It still sends shiver down my spine thinking about it. We are now at the last harvest spoken of in Jacob 5: "And the Lord of the vineyard said unto them: Go to, and labor in the vineyard, with your might. For behold, this is the last time that I shall nourish my vineyard; for the end is nigh at hand, and the season speedily cometh; and if ye labor with your might with me ye shall have joy in the fruit which I shall lay up unto myself against the time which will soon come. And it came to pass that the servants did go and labor with their mights; and the Lord of the vineyard labored also with them; and they did obey the commandments of the Lord of the vineyard in all things."
     I'm trying to be optimistic about it; but nevertheless, I'm still concerned for those who won't be ready. I have a feeling that the Second Coming won't be for a while, but the fact that now is the time to work and now is when the Lord is turning His children's hearts has me so excited! What an amazing time to live in. It reminds me a a favorite book series that I read back home, in which the young hero asked "why me? And why now?" To which another character said, "I would hate to live in a boring century when nothing is going on. This is the time to be alive, when history is being made and we are a central part of it." And that is so true for me, I am so grateful to be a part of this marvelous work to see the Lord's work first hand.
     I have also changed my goal that I had set a while back to read the Book of Mormon once a month. In the course of doing so, I realized that I was getting nothing out of it and that speed-reading words from God is probably not the best practice of a missionary. So I have reverted to my previous mode of study, and just taking extra care to ponder the words throughout my day and making sure that they are sticking in my heart. Or as Alma describes it, "Now, we will compare the word unto a seed. Now, if ye give place, that a seed may be planted in your heart, behold, if it be a true seed, or a good seed...it will begin to swell within your breasts...And behold, it will become a tree, springing up in you unto everlasting life. And then may God grant unto you that your burdens may be light, through the joy of his Son." (Alma 32 and 33)

Love you all and hope that you have a great week!

Elder Cox

From Erin's personal letter:  Here's a funny picture for this week. Story: we were at a member's house, and they have big dogs. My companion thought it would be a good idea to run around (in the dark) and have fun with said dogs. Needless to say, he ran over some fresh "dog dirt" and it splattered all over his slack leg. So we had him take off his slacks so they could be washed at the member's house and had him put on some of my jeans. The effect was very amusing. Enjoy the latest contestant on "The Biggest Loser".... Elder Eisele!